I’ve been thinking today about how much help I’ve had raising my kids. So much! I’m not one of those people who cope brilliantly most of the time , in fact, I would estimate that at least fifty percent of the time I have needed a little, or a lot, of help.
This will be the first birthday party I have organised in four years, and my younger sister has been there on all that time, baking and decorating and inviting and making games and drinks and food. She has got kids of her own, two beautiful kids, and two jobs… But she never complains. Complaining is all I do sometimes!
My youngest sister , who just had another baby, bringing her total to three great kids, well she and her husband look after my teenaged son. He has lived with them since he was about six. They have had him since they got married.
Then there’s my other half, Danial , who had to quit his job when I had our daughter. From day dot he has had to take on a job not many men are brave enough to do, bringing up a baby. And he cares for me, doing the things I can’t do for myself.
But it makes me see how much more dependent on them I am than I’d like to be. I think I grew up a fairly independent person, and I like to be able to do things for myself and learn new things. Well the bipolar pretty much took care of me. Smacked me down so far that I’m a completely different person. I don’t know how much of what I learn I will be able to remember. Once I have my manic episodes, a lot of hard earned knowledge usually goes flying like a brick fireplace out of a third storey window. It’s not pretty , ill tell you. I get tied up on words, I know what I’m thinking but it doesn’t come out of my mouth, or ill blend words, or say ” cucumber you can cook” when I mean zucchini. And these effects can last for a while after the episodes as well. Sometimes I feel really retarded. And stupid. And useless.
But this is what I have to learn to deal with. And I’ve got so many great people around me who cope with it too. I have to remember when I feel alone and sad, that I’m really held in a complex net of people and resources. I just have to be brave and ask for the help I need.
Do you have people supporting you ? You may not need as much help as I do, but everybody needs somebody once in a while!
Reach out, chances are, there’s already someone out there reaching out to you.
Have a good, well supported day!