Poem- “Re-ponderance”

Inner secrets-
Outer demons,
Wear ’em on your sleeve
Like bracelets…

Little bears &
Hearts & lipsticks,
Lucky charms you once adored.

More than trinkets bright and bold,
Reflecting on the memories they hold-
Good times and hard times,
Nightmare scenes,
Expansive dreams,
This life unfolds on centre stage
Pretence, suspense, small silver chains.

Allowing the obvious to permeate my ignorance,
All my less than brilliant choices,
Percolating in my mind.
What this brew will boil down to
I can’t say for sure,
But common sense informs me
Ill be better than before.

If what I’ve sown in sadness
One day blooms into a rose,
I’m sure ill grab mine by the thorns
Cause that’s how my life goes.
So many opportunities
Became my biggest dives,
“Try then try again”
The adage wisely spouts
But what about when trying
Brings you to your shattered knees?
I’m sure that old guy didn’t suffer
From bipolar bouts.

I’m watching now, as midnight nears,
Will my resolve withstand more tears?
I’d hoped these would be useful months,
To learn, create, to grow and hope..

Here’s me,
For once, just me,
Not my disease…

Is it too grand a wish I’ve made
That ill stay well enough to smile
For just another while?

I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.
Wish me luck.

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